Close Up July 7, 2009

 

 

When you look at Raegan you just see something so little.  And I seem to think that this little thing can’t mean as much as she does.  But when you get really close up to her your whole thinking changes.  More and more everyday I see new things about her that I never saw before.  I notice physical features and inner emotions.  She is so beautiful in everything she does.  Take this picture for example, this is her first 4th of July and she is sleeping on my lap.  While sleeping she moves slowly with her arms and you can tell she is dreaming.  While she is dreaming she makes little noises that sound like she is speaking or singing is what I like to think.  I really feel that she is singing becuase the noises are high little notes and it sounds like sometimes she is singing the scale.  When you look into her eyes when she is awake your heart just melts.  She just makes me so happy inside and out.  And the grasp of the little hand just makes you want to never let go.  It is so hard to think of bad things that could happen to this little one.  As a parent I get some many fears now that I never had before and I want to protect her with all my power but I can’t.  The only thing that I can do is pray and know that God has her in his hands and that He is her father….I am only the keeper for her here on earth. 

Mommy Made Me July 1, 2009

I bet if my daughter could speak to me now she would be upset and fight with me on these pictures.  I can just hear her say “Mommy Made Me!”  Just thinking about when she gets older and when she looks at these photos I can just see her face and then asking me what was I thinking in doing those embrassing things to her.  Well I guess then I will say “I am your mother and you couldn’t speak and I had my reasons.”  (It probably won’t be like that but hey I can think that)  Like the picture above, it is a photo for her father, for Father’s Day.  Raegan’s dad is a huge XBOX 360 fan and plays Halo all the time (sidenote, not at all much since Raegan is here) so this was a special photo for him. 

And this picture was the first time she went to church.  I put the bow headband on her becuase I don’t want people to think she is a boy and also I thought it would be cute.  One it ended up that the bow headband kept falling down close to her eyes which ended up making her look like 2Pac….And it really made her look even more thug with this face….but I love her….

And finally she is probably going to ask…why did I ever put a hat like that on her.  I know it was to keep her eyes and face out of the sun…..but honestly it was a scarey looking hat….well that is it for now…..I know when she gets bigger I will get to have more fun in crazy looking outfits and such becuase someday she will dress herself and I just know it is not going to be good. (especially since I’m not the best at fashion…maybe she will get her dads knowledge)

So little… June 24, 2009

I feel that some parts of life have come back since Raegan has been born.  I am slowly getting to have conversations with my husband again and actually knowing what is being said instead of being asleep during them.  I really have been enjoying these late night conversations between feedings while Raegan is wide awake. (which she gets from her father she is wide awake always between 9-midnight.)  Anyway, we both have been realizing that Jon’s job and the bills we still pay and the rent we pay my parents for living with them is not going to do very well.  Here we thought that we would be saving and not living pay check to pay check but that’s not true.  Granted we are getting some relief and blessings for sure and I’m not taken them forgranted.  Jon and I both just know that we want to save money and be able to get a home when we move out and also we don’t want to be burdens to my folks.  Jon has found out that they are going to cut his hours back and right now he is not even getting 30 and then driving the distance and price of gas just makes the job not make any sense.  Well Jon is going to start looking again and so I pray that God will bless him with a better job.  Now on to my thoughts, I know that I’m going to have to go back to work.  And to be honest I’m not ready to even think about this.  She is so little now and I’m scared to even leave her or even take her to a daycare.  I don’t feel right to leave her right now….and I know that my mom could watch her on her days off but honestly I don’t want to put her in that position.  Me finding a job is the last thing on my mind and I don’t want to be the one to bring home that main money.  I really just want to stay home with her.  I know that Jon feels that same way and he hates missing out on things just like I know I will if I was working.  I just wish that Jon and I could get a home business running and make it that way.  I wish some how we could get a photography business going or something that we both enjoy doing.  I just pray that this will work out….right now it seems so little to think about all this stuff but yet it is so big….I’m not complaining…I’m hoping…

He is Amazing June 23, 2009

 

I love you Jon and Raegan….check out what Jon is feeling….He is amazing….

http://jonfurry.blogspot.com/

Inside to Outside June 21, 2009

        

So the last few days I have been having some moments of feeling really close to her and God.  When she was on the inside I would pray for a healthy baby.  I would wonder what she was going to look like and I would worry that maybe something could be wrong.  I was scared.  I knew that God knew what He was doing when he surprised Jon and I with us becoming pregnant.  I then took each day wondering if I was eating the right food (which I think she showed me when I wasn’t by making me vomit).  You know all I could do was pray and hope that God was forming a beautiful little girl inside me.  That I was spending time loving her while she was on the inside.  I had to take care of myself for her to form into the creation that God wanted.  I know that I prayed many things for her future and I prayed that Jon and I would be prepared to teach her everything she will need in this world.  Well you can only do so much when they are on the inside….and then she came to the outside.  Now I have moments where I think so many things about this world that I wish I could put her back in.  But really I love that she is on the outside because she is more beautiful then I could ever image.  She shows me who God is again.  It’s so hard to believe how much my faith has grown since the start of labor.  I know that I am her mother and I am to take care of her but she is God’s child and He can take her whenever He wants.  I just pray that I will get to see her grow up and get married and have children of her own.  I love each her more and more everyday and worried about the littlest things that seemed to be stupid and that I never would have thought of if she wasn’t here.  I have already been thinking about which bible story I want to tell her first.  And how will I show her that God loves her.  Two nights ago I had the most touching moment with her and God that I have ever had.  I sang “jesus loves the little children” and started to cry so hard.  Just thinking about this moment brings tears of joy again to my eyes.  I can’t explain but the outside is so much better then the inside….I’m so blessed and thankful for this gift from God.

A little me June 18, 2009

Here she is…Raegan Chloe.  She is such a little blessing.  The story behind this picture is, my great grandma told her to smile and sure enough she did right at the camera.  Then my husband and the rest of my family said that this is a little me…My husband says this is the half smile I make that cracks him up….it’s the smile when I can’t hide something.  Well gotta go take care of God’s creation…it is so amazing!

Week 1- Raegan Chloe June 15, 2009

She is here! Our beautiful blessing from God, Raegan Chloe.  She is something that I would never image.  Who knew that God could make something so beautiful.  Labor and everything was nothing that I thought it would be.  And if it wasn’t for God giving me strength I don’t think I would have made it.  God also gave me my husband, Jon, who was an amazing coach.  The nurses told me that after she was born that we did an amazing job on breathing and focusing on the getting through and that is why they left us alone so much.  To be honest I don’t think I would have done so well if it wasn’t for him.  I do know that I was giving up and I wanted to have some drugs but Jon kept reminding me that I didn’t want that and that I can do it since I was already so far.  I do remember at one point right when the nurse broke my water that Jon and my dad both started to cry becuase I was so upset and didn’t want to be in labor anymore and I kept trying to sleep between contractions.  After a few tears fell from his eyes as he was setting in a chair by the bed he made me look at him and rubbed my arm and made me breath with him for the last two centimeters of labor before pushing.  In my head during those last few I just kept telling him I loved him in my head because I couldn’t say it while trying to breath….I’m very blessed and thankful for my husband.  After pushing for I think 30 minutes I was then blessed again from a long 9 month journey with a healthy baby girl.  She was so beautiful!  The whole experience I can’t explain.  And the days in the hospital and then finding out that she had Jaudice was another experience.  It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions right now….I’m scared, nervous, happy, sad, excited, joyous, very sleepy, and so much more all at the same time.  I do know that God is giving me strength each day and is showing me every step of what to do through the family members around me.  I am very thankful for the position of where Jon and I are in our lives to be raising Raegan.  Well I think this is enough for now and plus she should be waking up soon.  Tomorrow she will be a week old and everyday she is growing more and more.  She will be waking up soon and also we have a trip to the doctor already to get the final word on her Jaudice.  Thanks for the prayers and for my final words….Through God anything is possible and He will give you strength.

Born June 9, 2009 at 3:28pm.  (12hr labor)

8lbs 8oz…21 inches long and 13 1/2 inch head.

One Year June 5, 2009

Something very exciting is happening on this Sunday for me and my hubby.  It is our one year anniversary.  It is so hard to believe how fast it has went by.  It seems like just yesterday is when we started dating.  And to think we have made it through a whole year in marriage.  It has been a hard one with the way things were around us with jobs, bills, family, and surprises (aka getting pregnant).  Even though it has been tough I wouldn’t change our first year for any different.  We had an amazing honeymoon with two weeks in Florida.  We got to watch a lot of our friends get married.  I got blessed with a job that let me work with children.  We got a beautiful blessing surprise of finding out we were pregnant. Paid off a credit card with our wedding money (huge blessing).  Things that didn’t go so well were how long it took me to get a job, money being really tight, Jon losing his job, and the crazy stress levels.  I know that it didn’t help us since we didn’t go to church during everything becuase I was still trying to heal by myself with God on everything that happen with me and Jon was healing too.  God then showed us how much this past year our family has been there for us.  Both sides have given us nothing but loving and caring support.  A huge blessing came when we least expected by my father and mother offering to buy a house in Indy and have us move in with them.  This brought out a relief becuase it would help with the upcoming baby and also get rid of some bills.  It was scary to leave and move back in with family but it has been a huge blessing.  God has us so close to him that we are laughing, smiling, and loving again like we used to.  He has taken all the stress with this blessing.  The biggest blessing that has brought much joy is our soon to be baby.  I am already past due and I just know that God wants to show us who He is like last year with all the crazy flooding on our wedding day…I feel he will give us our baby on our anniversary, no matter how much I don’t want it.  Nothing I have said matters though….

The biggest point is I was blessed many years ago when I started praying for my husband.  And that God brought me this man.  Jon is the love of my life and God has made him into the man I always prayed for and wanted.  I just hope that my children will be so lucky when they find their mate.  I thank the Lord for this man and I know that God has many more years in store for us.  I love you Jon.  Happy Anniversary.

Due Date June 2, 2009

So it is almost 8pm on June 2,2009….today was my due date.  I know that first women don’t have there baby on their due date but i was really hoping.  I also know the day isn’t over but I have this feeling it’s not going to happen like I want.  One thing is that I feel more ready this week than I have the whole 9 months.  I feel that I really don’t know what is coming next but I know that God is in control since he is the one who gave us this child.  These last two weeks have been interesting.  I have cried some days of fear of not knowing and also just thinking about stuff….never good to think about things/assume.  I do know that Ihave dilated already some but many women can dilate and walk around many weeks and not have the baby.  These last two days I have felt soe much pressure in my pelvic area that it is hard to do anything…..i think it is almost time but I don’t know this is my first child.  I wa trying to describe the pain to my husband and all I can think about is when you ride a bike all day long on a really hard seat.  I did call the doctor and they said I’m just having labor pains and dilating more.  The thing is I had no idea you could dilate without contractions….who knew.  I really hope at my appointment tomorrow they end up keeping me at the hosiptal becuase I really don’t want to feel this pressure in my pelvic area until they induce me.   Well I guess maybe since everyone else is going to be guessing how big this baby is maybe I should take a shot at it.  I am guessing that my baby girl is going to be 8 lbs 3 oz and she will be 17 inches long. (I’m probably way off but at least I guessed.) So since she will be coming very soon and I don’t know what things I have ahead of me….I will try to update on here when I can.  Love you all and thanks for prayers now, then, and future….

Ice Cream Man May 19, 2009

I’m so excited that we have an Ice Cream Man that comes through our subdivision…this brings such a smile to my face.  Well the other day Jon and I heard the ice cream man coming (he has a sweet song) so Jon jumped up and ran down the stairs.  I thought maybe he just wanted to take a picture or something.  Well next thing I know my brother comes up the stairs to tell me that Jon has cut his toe and it is nasty.  I didn’t believe my brother so I went downstairs and saw that it was true.  Jon was sitting with pain written all over his face and his toe had blood all over it.  Needless to say Jon was hurting…..meanwhile my mom was trying to figure out how she was going to clean it.  Jon said please don’t becuase it hurt to even touch.  Jon finally gave in and my mom and I poured hydroproxide over it….and that put Jon in more pain.  We also started to noticed that his toe was a little swollen.  Well we moved Jon to a soft chair and put his foot up and then we asked what happen.  Jon then went on to tell the story…..See I ran outside to get Amber some ice cream as a surprise and when I turned the corner I fell on the new landscaping by stubbing my toe….as I fell I yelled “What the Flip” …..all this was in front of the ice cream man and I was so embrassed that I just came inside and didn’t buy any ice cream. As soon as Jon was done telling the story my mom just lost it and started laughing so hard that she was crying and couldn’t breath…..all she could get out was how she could see Jon falling….Even though I don’t think Jon will ever want ice cream from the cool ice cream man…I will still smile and also giggle to this fun memory….I love you honey….

Here is a picture of JOn’s toe….