So the last few days I have been having some moments of feeling really close to her and God. When she was on the inside I would pray for a healthy baby. I would wonder what she was going to look like and I would worry that maybe something could be wrong. I was scared. I knew that God knew what He was doing when he surprised Jon and I with us becoming pregnant. I then took each day wondering if I was eating the right food (which I think she showed me when I wasn’t by making me vomit). You know all I could do was pray and hope that God was forming a beautiful little girl inside me. That I was spending time loving her while she was on the inside. I had to take care of myself for her to form into the creation that God wanted. I know that I prayed many things for her future and I prayed that Jon and I would be prepared to teach her everything she will need in this world. Well you can only do so much when they are on the inside….and then she came to the outside. Now I have moments where I think so many things about this world that I wish I could put her back in. But really I love that she is on the outside because she is more beautiful then I could ever image. She shows me who God is again. It’s so hard to believe how much my faith has grown since the start of labor. I know that I am her mother and I am to take care of her but she is God’s child and He can take her whenever He wants. I just pray that I will get to see her grow up and get married and have children of her own. I love each her more and more everyday and worried about the littlest things that seemed to be stupid and that I never would have thought of if she wasn’t here. I have already been thinking about which bible story I want to tell her first. And how will I show her that God loves her. Two nights ago I had the most touching moment with her and God that I have ever had. I sang “jesus loves the little children” and started to cry so hard. Just thinking about this moment brings tears of joy again to my eyes. I can’t explain but the outside is so much better then the inside….I’m so blessed and thankful for this gift from God.
