She is My Little Wonderful….She makes everything beautiful again and makes me smile so big….I LOVE HER…..
She is My Little Wonderful… July 29, 2009
Changes July 18, 2009
So since my hubby and I have had our baby there has been so many changes. I don’t think anyone can really realize how much your life changes until you have a child of your own. I know some of the changes that I have been going through, especially physically. Lately here are the pains I have: Back pain, Shoulder pain, Neck Pain, Headaches, and Butt Pain. I never knew that I would have body pain like the way I do everyday but you live through it. Before I had Raegan I would have laided down and slept it off but now I just work through it. Something that was said to me here recently that has stuck in my mind, “You are so strong….if I wasn’t strong I would not be able to handle Raegan.” See I feel that I have been weak lately in my life and don’t really know who I am but my husband reassured me by saying that to me. I love him. My husband and I were talking about how much our lives have changed from where we were when we started to date. Wow, has our physical appearance changed but where we were in life changed even more. We both have went through many hard times and learned a lot along the way. All that growing has prepared us to where we are today. Who would have thought that we would be living in Indy with my folks…..who knows where we will be next year…..maybe Cali, surfing and raising a beautiful little girl….and I will work at the San Diego Zoo….LOL. I still love everyday and every moment becuase I know that Raegan is a gift and she is beautiful….she is more important and from now on I’m not important….I used to always put others first in my life but nothing like this…..I think now I understand why married people who have children are better children’s pastors….Speaking of which I don’t know if I will ever go back to the ministry, well working in one….unless it is the areas that I know God wants me to do….so much that I think of while I’m writing on here….well i’m out for today…
Growing Girl July 17, 2009
She is growing so much. The picture on the left is her a couple days old. And the picture below is over a month old. Wow she is going to be 1 before I know it and off to school, then college, then a wedding….I love her.
Looking at My Loves July 13, 2009
These are the two loves of my life. I’m so lucky to have them. They make me so happy. I know that my husband would say that over the past year I probably am not the nicest person from being pregnant with Raegan and the aftermath of birth (hormones), but he still loves me and makes me smile. I can’t believe where I am in life. God is so amazing. I just love these photos. They show how much they love each other. Raegan is such a daddy’s girl. And she is wrapped around her father’s finger. He would never let anything happen to this little girl. He would take a fall for the ice cream truck anyday to get her some sweet treat. While on our short southren family get together this past weekend I was carrying our little girl around the French Lick hotel and Jon was making sure I walked away from harmful objects that could randomly fall or away from far drop offs. When I went downstairs he was there to make sure I was stepping on every step. He is such a great father and husband, I don’t know where I would be without him. I know that lately I have been in pain becuase of giving birth..o the great aftermath of labor…Well anyway in all this pain I have been giving Jon a hard time and seem to complain in a certain way. For instance, I was getting a terrible headache and I was hungry too, well Jon made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and when he gave it to me it was on white bread…..well instead of me saying thank you I said “Yuck White Bread.” Talk about I shot him in the heart and I don’t think he would ever want to make me another sandwich or anything food wise for my comment. I continued my day with nagging him and complaining about how I’m always doing everything and I give him the look like why don’t you help….actually he was helping by holding Raegan so I could get a break from her…I’m such an awful wife. I know that I am trying to adjust to everything and be good wife, but there is no reason why I should take out my butt pain, headaches, lack of sleep, and just plain scared to death of finding a job and leaving Raegan out of Jon. I mean Jon does not deserve this. All I need is these pictures to know that he loves me and her and is trying to do everything he can to support us. I know that honestly I don’t want to go back to work but I know I must to help pay bills and to give us more cushion to have money for our little girl. I have been thinking of where and what I can do instead of work. This in turn gets me to thinking about all the things that we will be needing to buy and get soon. And it also makes me think of some future birthdays that are coming up. This brings up a good and bad thing….see I was brought up by giving gifts to people and each other…well so when you don’t have the money to get gifts it is hard, but I still make something or get a card for the person, which brings us to a conversation. Jon the other day was telling me that we can’t get the gift for my dad we were planning or each other…well this hurts because last year I knew I had no money but I still managed to get Jon something and my dad. I’m kinda sore about this but my birthday didn’t go like I thought last year so I kinda am hoping for this year. I know selfish but sometimes you need a day to feel loved and celebrated and I did say that it is the bad part of being brought up in a gift giving family. Wow, that part in my blog I’m not happen but I will stay true and be honest so people can see I’m real. Looking at these two faces and eyes I know that life is different…..Love is different…..I am blessed and I am thankful….I just have my days like everyone else where I am down. And on those days I need to say I’m very sorry and please forgive me. I love you. Just look at My Loves… 
Close Up July 7, 2009
When you look at Raegan you just see something so little. And I seem to think that this little thing can’t mean as much as she does. But when you get really close up to her your whole thinking changes. More and more everyday I see new things about her that I never saw before. I notice physical features and inner emotions. She is so beautiful in everything she does. Take this picture for example, this is her first 4th of July and she is sleeping on my lap. While sleeping she moves slowly with her arms and you can tell she is dreaming. While she is dreaming she makes little noises that sound like she is speaking or singing is what I like to think. I really feel that she is singing becuase the noises are high little notes and it sounds like sometimes she is singing the scale. When you look into her eyes when she is awake your heart just melts. She just makes me so happy inside and out. And the grasp of the little hand just makes you want to never let go. It is so hard to think of bad things that could happen to this little one. As a parent I get some many fears now that I never had before and I want to protect her with all my power but I can’t. The only thing that I can do is pray and know that God has her in his hands and that He is her father….I am only the keeper for her here on earth. 
Mommy Made Me July 1, 2009
I bet if my daughter could speak to me now she would be upset and fight with me on these pictures. I can just hear her say “Mommy Made Me!” Just thinking about when she gets older and when she looks at these photos I can just see her face and then asking me what was I thinking in doing those embrassing things to her. Well I guess then I will say “I am your mother and you couldn’t speak and I had my reasons.” (It probably won’t be like that but hey I can think that) Like the picture above, it is a photo for her father, for Father’s Day. Raegan’s dad is a huge XBOX 360 fan and plays Halo all the time (sidenote, not at all much since Raegan is here) so this was a special photo for him.
And this picture was the first time she went to church. I put the bow headband on her becuase I don’t want people to think she is a boy and also I thought it would be cute. One it ended up that the bow headband kept falling down close to her eyes which ended up making her look like 2Pac….And it really made her look even more thug with this face….but I love her….
And finally she is probably going to ask…why did I ever put a hat like that on her. I know it was to keep her eyes and face out of the sun…..but honestly it was a scarey looking hat….well that is it for now…..I know when she gets bigger I will get to have more fun in crazy looking outfits and such becuase someday she will dress herself and I just know it is not going to be good. (especially since I’m not the best at fashion…maybe she will get her dads knowledge)
