Inside to Outside June 21, 2009

        

So the last few days I have been having some moments of feeling really close to her and God.  When she was on the inside I would pray for a healthy baby.  I would wonder what she was going to look like and I would worry that maybe something could be wrong.  I was scared.  I knew that God knew what He was doing when he surprised Jon and I with us becoming pregnant.  I then took each day wondering if I was eating the right food (which I think she showed me when I wasn’t by making me vomit).  You know all I could do was pray and hope that God was forming a beautiful little girl inside me.  That I was spending time loving her while she was on the inside.  I had to take care of myself for her to form into the creation that God wanted.  I know that I prayed many things for her future and I prayed that Jon and I would be prepared to teach her everything she will need in this world.  Well you can only do so much when they are on the inside….and then she came to the outside.  Now I have moments where I think so many things about this world that I wish I could put her back in.  But really I love that she is on the outside because she is more beautiful then I could ever image.  She shows me who God is again.  It’s so hard to believe how much my faith has grown since the start of labor.  I know that I am her mother and I am to take care of her but she is God’s child and He can take her whenever He wants.  I just pray that I will get to see her grow up and get married and have children of her own.  I love each her more and more everyday and worried about the littlest things that seemed to be stupid and that I never would have thought of if she wasn’t here.  I have already been thinking about which bible story I want to tell her first.  And how will I show her that God loves her.  Two nights ago I had the most touching moment with her and God that I have ever had.  I sang “jesus loves the little children” and started to cry so hard.  Just thinking about this moment brings tears of joy again to my eyes.  I can’t explain but the outside is so much better then the inside….I’m so blessed and thankful for this gift from God.

A little me June 18, 2009

Here she is…Raegan Chloe.  She is such a little blessing.  The story behind this picture is, my great grandma told her to smile and sure enough she did right at the camera.  Then my husband and the rest of my family said that this is a little me…My husband says this is the half smile I make that cracks him up….it’s the smile when I can’t hide something.  Well gotta go take care of God’s creation…it is so amazing!

Week 1- Raegan Chloe June 15, 2009

She is here! Our beautiful blessing from God, Raegan Chloe.  She is something that I would never image.  Who knew that God could make something so beautiful.  Labor and everything was nothing that I thought it would be.  And if it wasn’t for God giving me strength I don’t think I would have made it.  God also gave me my husband, Jon, who was an amazing coach.  The nurses told me that after she was born that we did an amazing job on breathing and focusing on the getting through and that is why they left us alone so much.  To be honest I don’t think I would have done so well if it wasn’t for him.  I do know that I was giving up and I wanted to have some drugs but Jon kept reminding me that I didn’t want that and that I can do it since I was already so far.  I do remember at one point right when the nurse broke my water that Jon and my dad both started to cry becuase I was so upset and didn’t want to be in labor anymore and I kept trying to sleep between contractions.  After a few tears fell from his eyes as he was setting in a chair by the bed he made me look at him and rubbed my arm and made me breath with him for the last two centimeters of labor before pushing.  In my head during those last few I just kept telling him I loved him in my head because I couldn’t say it while trying to breath….I’m very blessed and thankful for my husband.  After pushing for I think 30 minutes I was then blessed again from a long 9 month journey with a healthy baby girl.  She was so beautiful!  The whole experience I can’t explain.  And the days in the hospital and then finding out that she had Jaudice was another experience.  It’s like I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions right now….I’m scared, nervous, happy, sad, excited, joyous, very sleepy, and so much more all at the same time.  I do know that God is giving me strength each day and is showing me every step of what to do through the family members around me.  I am very thankful for the position of where Jon and I are in our lives to be raising Raegan.  Well I think this is enough for now and plus she should be waking up soon.  Tomorrow she will be a week old and everyday she is growing more and more.  She will be waking up soon and also we have a trip to the doctor already to get the final word on her Jaudice.  Thanks for the prayers and for my final words….Through God anything is possible and He will give you strength.

Born June 9, 2009 at 3:28pm.  (12hr labor)

8lbs 8oz…21 inches long and 13 1/2 inch head.

One Year June 5, 2009

Something very exciting is happening on this Sunday for me and my hubby.  It is our one year anniversary.  It is so hard to believe how fast it has went by.  It seems like just yesterday is when we started dating.  And to think we have made it through a whole year in marriage.  It has been a hard one with the way things were around us with jobs, bills, family, and surprises (aka getting pregnant).  Even though it has been tough I wouldn’t change our first year for any different.  We had an amazing honeymoon with two weeks in Florida.  We got to watch a lot of our friends get married.  I got blessed with a job that let me work with children.  We got a beautiful blessing surprise of finding out we were pregnant. Paid off a credit card with our wedding money (huge blessing).  Things that didn’t go so well were how long it took me to get a job, money being really tight, Jon losing his job, and the crazy stress levels.  I know that it didn’t help us since we didn’t go to church during everything becuase I was still trying to heal by myself with God on everything that happen with me and Jon was healing too.  God then showed us how much this past year our family has been there for us.  Both sides have given us nothing but loving and caring support.  A huge blessing came when we least expected by my father and mother offering to buy a house in Indy and have us move in with them.  This brought out a relief becuase it would help with the upcoming baby and also get rid of some bills.  It was scary to leave and move back in with family but it has been a huge blessing.  God has us so close to him that we are laughing, smiling, and loving again like we used to.  He has taken all the stress with this blessing.  The biggest blessing that has brought much joy is our soon to be baby.  I am already past due and I just know that God wants to show us who He is like last year with all the crazy flooding on our wedding day…I feel he will give us our baby on our anniversary, no matter how much I don’t want it.  Nothing I have said matters though….

The biggest point is I was blessed many years ago when I started praying for my husband.  And that God brought me this man.  Jon is the love of my life and God has made him into the man I always prayed for and wanted.  I just hope that my children will be so lucky when they find their mate.  I thank the Lord for this man and I know that God has many more years in store for us.  I love you Jon.  Happy Anniversary.

Due Date June 2, 2009

So it is almost 8pm on June 2,2009….today was my due date.  I know that first women don’t have there baby on their due date but i was really hoping.  I also know the day isn’t over but I have this feeling it’s not going to happen like I want.  One thing is that I feel more ready this week than I have the whole 9 months.  I feel that I really don’t know what is coming next but I know that God is in control since he is the one who gave us this child.  These last two weeks have been interesting.  I have cried some days of fear of not knowing and also just thinking about stuff….never good to think about things/assume.  I do know that Ihave dilated already some but many women can dilate and walk around many weeks and not have the baby.  These last two days I have felt soe much pressure in my pelvic area that it is hard to do anything…..i think it is almost time but I don’t know this is my first child.  I wa trying to describe the pain to my husband and all I can think about is when you ride a bike all day long on a really hard seat.  I did call the doctor and they said I’m just having labor pains and dilating more.  The thing is I had no idea you could dilate without contractions….who knew.  I really hope at my appointment tomorrow they end up keeping me at the hosiptal becuase I really don’t want to feel this pressure in my pelvic area until they induce me.   Well I guess maybe since everyone else is going to be guessing how big this baby is maybe I should take a shot at it.  I am guessing that my baby girl is going to be 8 lbs 3 oz and she will be 17 inches long. (I’m probably way off but at least I guessed.) So since she will be coming very soon and I don’t know what things I have ahead of me….I will try to update on here when I can.  Love you all and thanks for prayers now, then, and future….

Ice Cream Man May 19, 2009

I’m so excited that we have an Ice Cream Man that comes through our subdivision…this brings such a smile to my face.  Well the other day Jon and I heard the ice cream man coming (he has a sweet song) so Jon jumped up and ran down the stairs.  I thought maybe he just wanted to take a picture or something.  Well next thing I know my brother comes up the stairs to tell me that Jon has cut his toe and it is nasty.  I didn’t believe my brother so I went downstairs and saw that it was true.  Jon was sitting with pain written all over his face and his toe had blood all over it.  Needless to say Jon was hurting…..meanwhile my mom was trying to figure out how she was going to clean it.  Jon said please don’t becuase it hurt to even touch.  Jon finally gave in and my mom and I poured hydroproxide over it….and that put Jon in more pain.  We also started to noticed that his toe was a little swollen.  Well we moved Jon to a soft chair and put his foot up and then we asked what happen.  Jon then went on to tell the story…..See I ran outside to get Amber some ice cream as a surprise and when I turned the corner I fell on the new landscaping by stubbing my toe….as I fell I yelled “What the Flip” …..all this was in front of the ice cream man and I was so embrassed that I just came inside and didn’t buy any ice cream. As soon as Jon was done telling the story my mom just lost it and started laughing so hard that she was crying and couldn’t breath…..all she could get out was how she could see Jon falling….Even though I don’t think Jon will ever want ice cream from the cool ice cream man…I will still smile and also giggle to this fun memory….I love you honey….

Here is a picture of JOn’s toe….

Olive Garden May 6, 2009

I just have to laugh at myself and say that being pregnant does bring out some great stories and embrassing moments…..

My mom and I were meeting my Pawpa and Bev for lunch and to get the baby crib.  Well Pawpa decided to take us to Olive Garden.  First off, it has been a long weekend with seeing family and trying to eat good food.  Also keep in mind I’m huge now and this last month is making me not feel so good all the time from contractions to not getting a lot of sleep and going to the bathroom way to many times that I should just live there.

Well anyway, we all go to Olive Garden. One of my favorite places while I have been pregnant.  I could just eat the salad all day and then eat my chicken alfredo and be as happy as a bee on a flower.  Well today was different! I have been starting to feel like I am back in the third month of pregnance and I’m feeling sick all the time again.  See I didn’t tell my mom that I wasn’t feeling my best, honestly I thought it was becuase I was hungry.  We get the salad and breadsticks and I’m doing great….just like normal.  The food comes again I’m doing great.  Well then I feel this I have to go to the bathroom….I’m thinking I just need to pee but boy was I wrong.  As soon as I stand up and start heading to the bathroom, I start coughing….and gagging.  And the worse part is I can’t speed up becuase there is a lady with two little kids in front of me and I can’t run them over.  Well the vomit can’t wait and I end up pushing the lady out of the way and she sees me start to blow up right as I hit the door and says I’m so sorry….her little kids ask what is wrong and she says …..she will be okay it’s a mommy thing.  It was kinda comforting to hear another woman say this as I’m getting sick all over myself and the bathroom….needles to say this was the most embrassing thing that has happen while being pregnant.  The lady leaves with her kids and I end up cleaning up the entire bathroom with luckly no one walking in….I don’t know how but during everything my glasses flew off and I knocked toliet paper off and seemed to get throw up all over my upper arms and on my boobs…if I didn’t have this huge belly people probably would have thought I had the swine flu….

I’m sorry if I grossed any of you out….but I’m very ready for this baby to get here, even though I know that I can’t even image what she will bring to the table….and I know that the mommy gene will kick into high gear…

I Walk like a Duck May 1, 2009

So no one told me about this….but apparently in the last month or few months of being Prego you start to look like a duck.  Which means your feet go kinda outward and you walk side to side becuase you are so big unless you are a lucky one who doesn’t get that big…..Speaking of ducks but really more like geese. The other day my husband and I saw a family of geese and they had guts….It was a busy time on a road here in the Avon area and the parent geese just lead the little ones straight out into the road so they could go to the other side.  This scared me and my husband but God was watching out for them and nothing happen, people were watching and let them pass.  This makes me wonder how God lets others watch us pass through danger….and they’re probably humbly praying for us at the same time….

End of 8 months into 9 months April 26, 2009

Soon to be at 36 weeks in a couple of days and I’m huge.  I’m fine with being big it’s the soon to be approaching baby labor that is giving me the momma scares….Wow I just called myself a Mom!  I think I’m ready but really I’m not sure, but I think all mom’s feel this way with their first.  Well the doctor has informed me that baby is already in the down position.  And that everything looks good.  I have past all the tests so far but soon will be taking another one which hopefully will be another positive result.  I have one more trip that is away from indy this coming weekend and then I’m not heading out of town until this baby is born.  To be honest, my biggest fear is I am scared I’m going to go into labor alone here at the house with only my dog and that no one is going to answer their phones.  Another thing that I keep thinking about is how is this all going to play out….the contractions, water breaking, and what time/day.  I keep wanting her to come early instead of later so keep praying…Some of things that I can’t wait to end are:  waking up a million in one times to go to the bathroom, not sleeping very well, having hot flashes, and this now most uncomfortable back and hips and just everywhere…..well I’m off for now I have to go lay down and take a nap b/c i’m getting the prego grumpiness….

New Friends: A Picture Story April 26, 2009

A few of the weddings that my husband has been in this past year have had some great new people we have met.  We met them because of these two….

This is Matt and Spring.  Two really great friends of ours.  We love them to death.  You never know what will happen next with these two.  These two introduced us to…..

Heather, she was Spring’s best friend growing up.  And this is…

Eugene, Heather’s hubby….These two are amazing.  They make you laugh and make you feel so comfortable.  I got to watch them both this weekend at a wedding making a video for the happy couple.  I have seen a couple of their videos and have read their blog.  They’re based out of Nashville, TN and have an amazing business that is taken off in front of their eyes.  If I would have know them before my wedding I would have had them do my wedding…..but getting to know them now is just fine.  I wish both of these the best and that God will continue to bless them in there business…..go check them out at 2duce2.com.  

(not the best picture but here is a shot of them working)

Another great thing is they let me play with their Nikon D-80 camera until this happen….

Matt took over the camera…..so I didn’t get to take all the pictures that I really wanted to have….but at least I got some good ones on my own little digital….